thou doth protest too much

Yemeni society is a very walled culture. The most obvious example is architecturally. Every home has a wall around it at least ten feet high, often with broken glasses cemented into the top to prevent burglary, which is unheard of. Behind the walls are sparse gardens of potted plants and broken tile floors. Geographically, the majority of the Yemeni population has been isolated in high mountains for millennia, developing an extremely unique society. Somewhat surprisingly, they are less prone to xenophobia than to an incredible fondness for sharing their culture.
The largest wall exists between genders. All aspects of society here are divided between men and women. Many, although not all, restaurants have blocked off a family section where women can sit. The paradigmatic example of this is that even at a wedding there are two parties. The civil union of a man and a woman is celebrated by the men throwing one party for the groom where they eat and eat and eat and chew qat and dance and drive around in caravans blocking traffic. Meanwhile the women throw a party for the bride where I hear they wear revealing clothes and dance and ululate and put on excessive amounts of make-up to counterbalance the majority of the time when they are oppressed. Many marriages are still arranged by the parents, with only an iota of informed input from the couple.
Technology is a force acting to break down some of the walls constructed. At least once a day, my phone rings from mystery numbers, but I never answer. Sitting at home the other day, I received a text message from an unknown number that read:
TEL L ME WHEN YOU SAW ME DID YOU CRY
This one came maybe two weeks after another memorable text from the same number:
THERE’RE SEVEN HEAVANS. I HOPE SEE YOU IN FOURTH and YOU FEED ME A HEALTHY FRUITS
And before that:
YOUR sea of knowledge is my strength,,, THANKS YOU TEACHER
There have of course been others from wherever of lesser note, mostly where they spell my name wrong. I have not responded to any of them. I suspect they come from students, and I make sure to include their spelling and grammar errors in a class warm-up activity where I write some things on the board and have the students correct the mistakes.
The wide availability of western television and movies has broadened the minds of the youth, but in a limited way. Western movies that play on television here do not include kissing between unmarried couples, sometimes to the discredit of the plot. For example in the chick flick Never Been Kissed, the movie leads up to the obvious ending which is cut out and goes straight to the credits instead, leaving the plot in a mild state of suspense. (Yet rape is shown no problem in more graphic detail than I am comfortable with, as long as the couple are married.)
As a result there is a very small scene of dating. AMIDEAST is the only school in Yemen with coed classrooms, and in staff meetings we are told to clip the wings of fledgling romances, lest we make ourselves to be a target. A couple students have confided in me about their having a girlfriend; the first to do so in fact has recently married.
For others who are not given the advantage of forced coed conversation, there is Bluetooth hotspots, most notably Aden Mall. I was at the mall with my Moldovan friend months ago when, with his Bluetooth on, he received a message that reads something like this:
If I were to put you into my heart it would surely explode
One thing I haven’t heard about here are free parties like you hear about in Iran, but I have my suspicions. Even at the for-lack-of-a-better-word brothels most of the prostitutes wear abaya (black dress) and higab (headscarf), if not the burqa (veil) as well. The coverings are definitely a constructed wall, one that hides a mystery of anonymity. And through this there is a definite safety. The Muslim world is often criticized in the name of female liberation on the issue of modesty, but this condemnation comes easily from those who do so without understanding. Women here do not victimize themselves like they would in the west, they instead smartly focus on the freedoms they gain by wearing coverings. In fact, the only times people here compare their culture to that of the west is when they illustrate how it is so good.
This perspective among Yemeni people is perhaps the greatest challenge of living here. When faced with an issue, I think about ways of dealing with things until I find a solution. Yemeni people do the same, but it is always a different solution than I would have found, and so I never understand their thought process until it is finished and they present their solution. This is the most challenging aspect of life in Yemen, and of the walls, but simultaneously the most rewarding.